Love Overflowing

Do you hear that?

on April 21, 2009

That’s the sound of my tummy growling! I used to have a snack after Emily went to bed. It was part of our routine. A very unhealthy routine. As of yesterday, that has changed. A lot of stuff is hopefully changing. Eating habits, how I view food, the size of my rump. All good changes.

This is all due to a challenge I entered.  My friend Julie emailed me about joining her “The Biggest Loser” challenge. I was kind of hesitant about it. Was I ready to really make a change and stop whining about my weight?? Was I ready to watch what I eat and not make excuses? On my own, no. I was content with eating crap and loving it. This challenge might be my golden ticket. I was still on the fence. I emailed my friend Cindy about the contest and she was ecstatic. Her enthusiasm was bubbling over and contagious. She made me not dismiss the challenge off the bad. Made me really think about what I wanted. The power of peer pressure! So I am in!

I know I have talked about doing a challenge before and nothing came of it. Sure there was some friendly competition. It died out as early as my resolve to put the ice cream down did. This challenge is different. This one is for money! Lots of money! $200 actually and that can buy a lot of stuff!

Plus I am in a different place now. I am ready. I am ready to lose the weight, get healthy and look good. Sounds like a broken record doesn’t it? It does to me. Anyone who has ever dealt with being overweight can understand though. It’s a vicious cycle. You want to lose weight, you attempt to lose weight and you fall off the wagon. You eat like crap for awhile and decide that you are tired of your pants cutting you in two. Rinse and repeat. I really want to make a change. I think this challenge will help. A group of women helping each other reach their goals. Whether it’s losing 10 pounds or 100 pounds. We are all in the same boat- the fat boat.

I know, for me, that I need to make some changes and look inside to find out why I struggle the way I do. What causes me to eat when I am not hungry? What causes me to load my plate up and eat every bite? I don’t know. At this point, I am not sure how to find the answers. I know I need to look deep inside myself and find out if  I am ever going to make a long lasting change.

I do know a few things though. I don’t want to look like a whale when we go on vacation this summer. I don’t want Emily to be ashamed of me when she is older. I really don’t want to always tell her that I can’t pick her up because she is too heavy and I am a weakling. I want to be around to watch her grow up and live a long life with Stephen. I owe that to the both of them. That is more important than a ding dong any day.

It starts here and now. Yesterday actually. I am in for all the marbles. I need to watch what I eat and exercise. No excuses. This challenge runs 8 weeks. I want to come out the biggest loser and prove to myself that I can do it. If I can do it for 8 weeks, chances are it will be easier to continue after the challenge is over. And I want to make a lifelong change not just a short term one where I end up gaining it all back and more.

Let’s do it!

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