Love Overflowing

The Mason Werner Foundation

One year ago, my friend Sam lost her son due to SIDS. Her loss really hit close to home as Mason and Will were only three months younger than Zachary. Sam and I had been comparing notes on eating, sleeping and reflux issues. My heart broke for Sam and her family when I heard the news of their unexpected loss.

I don’t know how anyone handles the loss of a child. It’s just not right. There are no words to describe the horror that I am sure Sam and her family go through on a daily basis. My prayer for them is that the pain diminishes. That every morning isn’t filled with sorrow. Mason will always live on in their memories. I can’t tell you why he was taken from them. I don’t understand why God would take a child from his family so young when they are full of life and love. Why the parents hopes and dreams for their children are lost. Why siblings will never know the joy of fighting with each other. These are things that we will never know.

Sam and Rob set up a foundation in Mason’s memory, The Mason Werner Foundation.Their mission is to promote and raise awareness of SIDS. The main method is by providing informational onsies to new parents. Raise awareness of the back to sleep initiative. SIDS cannot be prevented but the risks can be reduced. That is one thing The Mason Werner Foundation hopes they can accomplish with their onsies.

You can help! You can purchase a onsie for your child or as a shower gift or you can make a cash donation. They rely on donations to provide the onsies to new parents, childcare facilities and pediatric clinics.

And if I go, while you’re still here….
know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.

I wait for the time when
we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to the fullest
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
…I will be there.

~Emily Dickinson


My prayers and love go out to the Werner family, especially Saturday. Know that you are surrounded by love and that Mason will never be forgotten.




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A life taken too soon

I have made some very wonderful friends in my adult life. I have been very blessed to know all of these women. Near or far, these women are  friends who you can always count on for a laugh or a hug. They are women who have seen me through many up’s and down’s.  Today was a day when we cried together.

Today a dear friend lost her husband to cancer. He gave a good fight for three years and his body had finally had enough. He went through grueling treatments during his battle. Unfortunately, this was the type of cancer that just would not give up. My heart aches for her. She has to say goodbye to a man she has shared her life with for 15 years. They have three children together. The youngest are Emily’s age. I keep thinking about how they have never really know a time when their dad was not sick. And how they probably won’t really remember their father. That breaks my heart.

My dear friend has the heart of gold and took each step of this treacherous journey with her husband. She stood beside him even when times were really bad. And she did it with grace. She kept going even when she wanted to stay in bed and weep for her husband. I truly admire her for her fortitude and compassion. She is someone who I strive to be more like.

I know that she and her family will be fine. They will heal, over time. They will cling to each other when time are hard. They will keep his memory alive in their heart. He is not truly gone, as he will always be with them. My prayers are that they can find a sense of peace in his passing. They have had time to “prepare” for this day but I don’t think you can ever truly prepare for a loss this great. Luckily my friend and her family are surrounded by people, near and far, who love them dearly. It hurts to see them in pain but I hope they know that they are never alone.

Today the world lost a good man. My friend lost her husband, her partner and her children lost their daddy. My heart aches for them. Rest in peace dear man. You fought a good hard fight.

“Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

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Thanksgiving 2010

A little extra special Thanksgiving this year as it was Zachary’s first Thanksgiving celebration. I am so very blessed with my life. It isn’t perfect by any means but it’s mine and I cherish it.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
— Melody Beattie

I have a wonderful family. Two beautiful children who are my life, my miracles. My husband. A nice house. My health. Friends. Food.

There are so many things that I have to be thankful for. God has truly blessed me. I need to practice gratitude on a daily basis, not just one day a year.  Gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life. My cup runneth over.

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Meet the newest Christian

My sweet Zachary was baptised on April 25. He was surrounded by many of his aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, sister, grandparents, friends and parents. More importantly, he was surrounded by love!
The ceremony was really nice. Poor Zachary was so tired! He was awake during most of the mass prior to his baptism so he really needed a nap. Complete contrast to Emily’s baptism. Granted she was 6 weeks when she was baptised and he was almost 15 weeks. She slept almost the entire day. Zachary fussed a lot. But, he didn’t cry when Father Ryan poured the water over his head. I held my breath because Zachary usually freaks when I rinse his hair during bathtime. Zachary did great though. The baptism was nice and went on without a hitch.
Unfortunately, the weather decided not to cooperate. As we had a week or two of beautiful weather, Sunday turned out to be a big soaking dud! It was a bummer too because we were going to have the reception at the park too. The kids would have had a blast burning off some steam! Luckily, we had a backup plan so we weren’t stranded. We just moved the party to Stephen’s parents since there is no way we could have held everyone at our house nor could I clean it all with my foot. It turned out to be a very nice get together and I am very grateful to my inlaws for hosting it for us. I am sure I have said it before, but I’ll say it again…I have the BEST set of inlaws.

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So very proud..

I am very proud of my husband. He started a new job at the end of April. He wasn’t even in search mode. This job pretty much came to him. It reminds me of the parable of the man stuck in a flood.

A man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, “No I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in God and God will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again because “God will grant him a miracle.”

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in. Mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help. So he drowns.

He arrives at the gates of heaven and says to Peter, “What happened? I put my faith in God and He let me drown!” St. Peter responds, “We sent you three boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”

Stephen had seen this job posting several times and never acted upon. Only after he was contacted by a recruiter did he seriously consider the position. I truly believe the position was meant to be his. He had a job offer within 5 minutes of his second interview. This is where he is supposed to be right now. The recruiter was his helicopter.

It’s been two full weeks at his new company and Stephen really seems to be enjoying his work now. It’s not as much of a chore to go in. The best part is it is what he is wanting to do right now. He beat potential outsourcing at his previous company and made some improvements in other personal areas as well. One of many is a flexible work schedule and the ability to work from home as needed. I cannot begin to tell you how much of a help that will be!

I do know this transition was stressful for him though. I broke my foot and had surgery his last week at the previous employer. But we made it through. I am very proud of him. He made a huge leap and landed on his feet. It’s wonderful in more ways than one.

Congratulations Stephen! I am so proud of you and immensely happy for you!


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Big changes

There are some big changes going on in the J household! We are expecting our SECOND child!!!!!!!!!

I know to many it doesn’t seem like a super huge deal but it is to us. We always truly believed that Emily was going to be an only child. We had heard stories and known people who have gotten pregnant naturally after IVF (we like to call them “freebies”) but never in a million years imagined that it would happen to us. Especially considering our circumstances behind our IVF.

Imagine our surprise when the pregnancy test showed 2 lines!!! It was a fluke that I had taken it anyway. I was participating in the Biggest Loser Challenge, eating well, dropping weight and being active. Stephen made me test based on a morning I told him that I felt sick and I had only eaten plain toast for breakfast. It’s a good thing he was adamant about that! I was 6+ weeks along at that point! I would have NEVER known I was pregnant honestly. Probably still wouldn’t to this day. Missing a period is not uncommon for me so that wouldn’t have been a tip off.

I am now 13 weeks today. Dealing with some bleeding issues and a low lying placenta but feeling great overall. I have seen my little one more times than most people have by this point and will get another picture in 3 more weeks. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time earlier this week was AMAZING and very reassuring. Our official due date is January 22, 2010.

God is truly amazing. He must have planned for Emily to grow up with a sibling. Despite what we might have believed, He had other plans. I am so thankful to be blessed not once, but twice. I don’t know what I have done to deserve these blessings but I am truly thankful. I hope to be the best mommy I can be to these two little souls that God has entrusted into my care.

So, I guess this will be the first entry in a long line of “pregnancy” posts!